KELLY FORGIVE ME                        © 2014   by   Myron Schreck

Kelly, my darling, I know it’s been a while, but this’ll be the very last letter I’ll send.   Sell my possessions.  I’m going off to hide.  And I won’t be coming home again.

The white mountain peaks glow like silver at dusk as the sun paints the clouds pink, red, and blue.  I’ve gathered some wood for a small pot of tea, and with sadness and shame I write this to you.  

Kelly, forgive me.  Kelly, forget me.  I set you free of the promise you made.  Tear up my picture.  Burn all my letters.  I have caused so much pain.  Now I won’t be coming home again.

My father was a soldier — my brother was another.  To fight for my country, was the duty I swore.   I carried my weapons with pride and with courage.   But what did I know about going to war?

The fife and the drum … the shiny brass band.    We marched to applause — the crowds waving the flags.   But somewhere I heard a child cry:   “Will they be coming … coming back home?”

The days soon exploded.  The nights were on fire.  We hardly could tell where the enemy was.  We fought without mercy.  We killed out of fear — afraid one mistake … would cause the death of our friends.

I try to forget the flames and the smell — the screaming that haunts me and turns my blood cold.   But there’s something dark —  deep down inside me – that’s damaged … damaged my soul.
 
Kelly forgive me — Kelly forget me — I can’t come home — I can’t even try.   Burn all my writings … my drawings … my songs.    I’ve caused too much pain in my life.   I’ve caused too much pain in my life.

Words can’t express all my anger and fear.  Any sound that’s too loud …   and I’m ready to kill.   And every dark narrow street makes me shiver and cower.   I’m ashamed of my past … and afraid of tomorrow.

Kelly forgive me — Kelly forget me — I can’t come home — I can’t even try.   Burn all my writings … my drawings … my songs.   I’ve caused too much pain in my life.   I’ve caused too much pain in my life.

So I hide in these hills …  where the bird-songs abound.  Where the stars are my blanket  —  and I can sleep through the night.     And my tears go unheard, and my fears can subside.  And the ghosts of the fallen …  allow me some peace of mind.  

Kelly forgive me — Kelly forget me — I can’t come home — I can’t even try.  Burn all my writings … my drawings … my songs.   I’ve caused too much pain in my life.   I’ve caused too much pain in my life.